On Why I’m So “Unhappy”… Or Perhaps - Unsatisfied.

The word “happiness” is pretty freaking broad. The English language only seemingly does so much encapsulate this (in my opinion) very loaded feeling.

To expand further, I think we often think of anger or maybe sadness, when we think of feelings that carry a heavier “load”. But perspective is always subjective to the eye of the beholder, right?

Happiness, in Korean is “행복”. This evokes a sense of strong satisfaction and well-being. I think the more quintessential view of, “happiness” in the Western sphere.

However, there are only a few times in my life where I’ve felt GENUINE 행복. Happiness. Have I felt a sense of joy (기쁨), in life - where I feel a sense of inspiration and energy? Yes. But genuine happiness? Few.

Perhaps it’s because Koreans have been indoctrinated with false positivity. Similar to the Western hemisphere. Wonder why? (Hint: America, colonization, capitalism). Need I remind you that Korea was war-torn, only in the 50s? My grandparents would’ve been navigating their young adult lives at this point. That’s actually a pretty damn painful thought. My mom shares stories of my grandmother carrying her siblings on her back, walking kilometres on end in the midst of war. When I was younger, the memories they shared (constantly) felt too heavy of a burden to carry in my young brain. I perhaps didn’t have the mental capacity to genuinely put myself in their shoes. Of course I didn’t I was 7. 8. 9. 10. That was naivety, a lack of education, a lack of pre-frontal cortex and a lot more. Perhaps a little bit of self-hatred as well, of my South Korean identity - as someone looking to gain acceptance within the society she was whisked into living in.

For those of you with access to knowledge, a fully adult formed brain that still can’t do this? I’m unsure what to say to you. I digress.

We are a traumatized nation. And I don’t mean that lightly. It shows in the numbers, if you don’t believe me. Trauma correlates to unhappiness and satisfaction. As Jordan Grumet M.D. from Psychology Today puts it, “Generational trauma influences behaviors, even when we haven’t directly experienced the events” (2025).[1]

And you can see the level of unhappiness in the chart below, from Ipsos. Korea is most lately, in 2025, third last, next to Turkiye and Hungary - respectively.

Happiness Index (Ipsos, 2025)

What do these countries have in common? War. And what is war rooted in? Say it with me! Ego. Power. Dominance.

Sound similar to what’s happening now right? Yeah. Because history repeats itself. We continue to make strides in making improvements and change, that is until the pendulum swings into hysteria.

What sets Korea a part from these nations however - is our level of innovation, technology and glamour; represented in the mass media and in the streets of Seoul.

What makes Korea beautiful, however, is our lineage and ancestry. The great-great grandmothers, great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, daughters, sisters in particular. Because the best nations are built on strong women. And men who understand the power of women’s nature.

My ancestry points to GyeongJu, capital of Silla (57 BC – 935 AD). I had the opportunity to visit back in 2023 with the guide of my uncle, and was amazed and enamoured at the beauty of the nature, the shamans, the water and food.

If you have the opportunity to visit my mothaaaaland, I really hope you’ll find it in you to visit the smaller towns and neighbourhoods that built Korea to what it is today! S/o GYEONGJU.

Sources:

[1] Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Happiness (Grumet, 2025)

[2] Global Happiness Index (Ipsos, 2025)

[3] My brain