Why I Started Muay Thai As a POC Woman Lmfao

Text exchange LMFAO #safespace #putmeincoach

COMPLETELY UNEDITED STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS. FOR AUTHENTICITY, WHATEVER THAT MEANS NOW. Shoutout to Peter at Montrait Muay Thai for getting me started on this journey. Watch out boys and girls and theys and thems I’m coming ;) hugs and punches.

I’ve always leaned more towards traditionally “feminine” sports. Think figure skating, gymnastics, jazz ballet (people always ask me, that’s a thing? Apparently, yes). I think I also had a stint trying sailing, swimming and a whole lot more.

While I commend my mom for even having the energy to put me into all of these sports. I got quite confused on my identity. Kids tend to latch onto the things that help compartmentalize to others, who they are.

I have distinct memories of kids being like “Amanda, the girl who’s amazing at hockey”. Not “Amanda, the girl with a bright smile and attitude”. I always felt it was a little backwards but I accepted it.

Later on, I not only accepted it but completely subscribed to the engine feeding it. Standardized testing. The art of only mastering one hobby. Comparing yourself to others.

What if I was meant to be a jester that wears many hats? I always struggled with the notion of doing too much. I already dressed pretty “chaotic” relative to my peers, acted a little genuinely off (masked by higher ish IQ and exceptional EQ). I went to a business school that was prestigious. Sold my soul to the corporate devil. Did it all.

All I was left with was money and a spending addiction. At 29. I’ve always loved the finer things in life. And that’s completely ok. Nice jewelry, nice food, nice friends.

However, with that comes a chase…. from the high of travelling. The fast life. It’s a whole lot of fun. Until you aren’t able to stay grounded.

As a Gemini moon - I find it hard to stay grounded… especially as a single woman with a decent income and a dog. Sometimes but I try my best through prayer (or meditation whatever you want to call it), practical internal dialogue and a lot of therapy and reading. But it’s hard. No matter how hard I try. The scale just keeps tipping back and forth. Reject it all. Take it all.

The world has overpaced itself. Let’s slow down a little. But not shame people for wanting more.

I started Muay Thai from 29 years of repressed anger of being an East Asian Woman. Of being seen as a fragile and feminine woman. Meant to act a certain way. Look a certain way. Well fuck that. I can have it all.

Oh and also I did have a literal STALKER. Self defense. Yeah bomb drop. Lol more on that at a later time.

I can coexist as a human doing Pilates AND Muay thai. Pilates actually HELPS with the Muay Thai. I can listen to Alice in Chains while also leaning into ambient non-verbal music.

I love dancing. I love being a girl. I love being tough. I love being it all.

I can co-exist as someone that doesn’t fit your idea of who I am or who I should be.

See you in the ring.

x

Fran (2Jung)